


how are you this stupid batson?

by tadashikawa



Series: spideypool!freebat au [1]
Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: M/M, billy is oblivious again bc its my fav hc for him, deadpool!freddy, freddy may be ooc, he kind of feels like a weird mix of wade jack and freddy, i little bit of violence bc its deadpool but nothing too bad, no darla bc i couldn't fit her in anywhere bc it's set in high school fhkhafhs im sorry, no foster family au but mary is billy's biological sister, spiderman!billy, spideypool AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 19:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18597463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tadashikawa/pseuds/tadashikawa
Summary: Billy has been wearing the infamous mask since his freshman year of high school. He knew that the identity of Spider-man came with ups and downs, but one of the hardest yet was keeping the persona a secret. He was a junior now, and only one person has seen Billy without the mask. Of course it had to be none other than the foul-mouth, tactile, and borderline offensive Deadpool. They were never friends, let alone partners, but they had bumped into each other a lot throughout the course of Billy's superhero career.One day, a new kid named Freddy Freeman transferred to Billy's school. He was weird, and treated Billy like a close friend. Freddy kept smirking and nudging him as if he knew something he did not. Billy was determined to get to the bottom of the mystery that was the new boy, and where the hell he knew him from.





	how are you this stupid batson?

**Author's Note:**

> so here's the long promised spideypool!freebat fic!! i hope you all enjoy :)

Billy watched as the nameless man’s body fell to the ground. He stared at the bloody hole in his chest and turned to face the culprit.

He was met with the mask of none other than Deadpool. Billy sighed and approached him.

“Again? Are you kidding me? This is the _fifth_ person you’ve killed this week. It’s _Tuesday_.”

The masked man laughed and rested his elbow on Billy’s shoulder.

“Listen here Spider-boy. I’m not here to save anyone, nor am I some angel of life. All these people I have reason to believe deserved their fate.”

Billy rolled his eyes and shoved the other ‘hero’s’ arm off his shoulder.

“You need to stop being so careless. Nobody deserves to die and you can’t just go around killing anyone you want.”

“Whatever webhead.”

Billy sighed and swung to the top of a nearby building. He did not need to waste his time talking to a stupid individual like Deadpool

Sure he was friendly with him, and they definitely bumped into each other a lot, but that didn’t mean he necessarily liked him. Technically it also didn’t mean he didn’t like him either, he was kind of neutral about his feelings for the masked hero.

Sometimes he did not agree with actions he took, or sometimes their opinions differed, but he was still always there for him whenever he needed help.

Billy couldn’t even count the amount of times Deadpool came through for him in a pinch. He was in debt to the masked maniac and he didn’t even really know who he was.

Deadpool has seen him without his mask once, it was months ago but it still happened. They were in the middle of stopping a heist and one of the robbers ripped the mask off his head. Of course he immediately put it back on, but it did not stop the split second the other saw.

He was trustworthy though. Billy bet that he was maybe around his age, maybe a little younger. Based on his frame, mannerisms, and just overall vibe he seemed maybe around 17 at oldest.

Billy often thought about unmasking the boy and making acquaintance as his true self. He thought that if his secret identity was anything like his alter ego, they would probably get along fine. As long as there was no guns or violence, Deadpool’s personality was quite enjoyable to be around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Class please give a warm welcome to our new student, Freddy Freeman!”

Billy raised his head at the announcement and spotted a semi-short curly haired boy. He was wearing an oversized red sweatshirt with blue skinny jeans and black converse. Billy watched as he nodded the teacher off and took the seat diagonally behind him.

They met eyes and the boy gave him a smirk. Billy ruffled his eyebrows in confusion. _What the…?_

He shook it off. _Maybe he’s just weird._

Homeroom ended quickly and soon he was once again roaming the hallways towards his next class. He felt a tap on his right shoulder and turned to meet the strange curly haired boy from earlier.

“Batson right? William?”

Billy furrowed his eyebrows at the kid.

“Billy’s fine, please don’t call me William.”

Freddy smirked and started following Billy as he walked forward. The silence was somewhat awkward but not at the same time. Billy spoke up,

“So you’re new right?”

“Mhm”

“Where’d you transfer from?”

“I was homeschooled.”

Billy nodded his head as his classroom came into view.

“That’s cool.”

Freddy smirked at him once again and Billy tilted his head in confusion. The other boy then laughed at his expression and Billy felt something familiar about the noise.

“Hey have I met you befo—“

“And here you are! English right? Mrs. Parker’s class?”

Billy nodded and squinted his eyes in suspicion.

“How did you—“

“I better get going. Don’t wanna be late!”

He started walking away from the room and waved.

“See you later William!”

“Don’t call me that!”

 

_Who the hell was this kid?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lunch came quickly and Billy plopped down in his seat next to his sister and his two bests friends Eugene and Pedro.

“So did you take a look at the new kid?”

Eugene started as he unwrapped his lunch from his bag.

“He was homeschooled right? I think he’s a little strange. Weird sense of humor.”

Pedro said in between bites of his sandwich.

Billy was silent throughout the entire exchange as he drank from his milk carton.

 

_Yeah the kid was weird. He also seemed like he knew me from somewhere? I don’t remember ever meeting or being acquainted with a Freddy Freeman befo—_

 

His thoughts were cut off from the weight of someone’s arm using his head as an armrest.

“Yeah I think he’s rather peculiar, don’t you William?”

Billy looked up to meet the _once again_ smirking face of Freddy Freeman.

Billy scoffed and shoved the arm off his head.

“Don’t call me that.”

The boy laughed and Mary spoke up.

“So you’re the new kid huh? What’s your name?”

“Freeman. Freddy Freeman. Nice to meet you m’lady.”

He stuck his right hand out to her. Mary rolled her eyes in a laugh but accepted the handshake nonetheless.

“Likewise. It’s Mary by the way, I’m Billy’s sister. A _senior_ so don’t get any funny ideas.”

Freddy chuckled and pulled his hand away.

“Wouldn’t dream of it _Bat_ son. Besides I personally prefer to _bat_ for the other team if you know what I mean.”

Freddy smirked and Mary nodded sending a knowing look in Billy’s direction. Billy looked back up to face him but was too distracted in his own thoughts to catch the cheesy pick up line.

 

_The way he talks is so familiar. I swear I’ve heard someone flirt and banter like that before. I just can’t put a finger on it._

 

Billy felt the presence of the boy move from behind him to besides him.

“Mind if I join?”

“Sure.” Pedro said through a chew and Freddy sat down directly next to Billy.

“So, what are all of your opinions on superheroes?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Billy felt wind blow across his masked face as his web attached to the building next to him. He was on his daily evening patrol but he couldn’t completely concentrate.

His mind was stuck on the kid from earlier. Freddy knew so much about Billy and spoke to him like a he was good friend. He felt the wind flow faster as he picked up speed.

 

_He spoke about superheroes so confidently, and he was so smooth in his speech. His body movements mirrored something Billy had seen before. But where?_

 

His thoughts distracted him from the incoming wall of a building to his left.

“Watch out Webhead!”

He directed his head to the voice and in turn, smashed directly into the wall. He growled with his face against the brick as he heard cackling behind him.

Billy heard the voice wheeze at the sight of the somewhat flattened hero. Billy sighed and started climbing up to the roof of the building he fell on. Once he reached the top he properly faced his mocker.

He raised his eyebrow and gave the other masked hero a deadpan expression.

“Maybe an earlier warning would have been nice?”

“It’s a little too late for that now don’t you think Red?”

Billy rolled his eyes and swung to the building Deadpool was standing on.

“How’s the patrol going kiddo?”

Billy scoffed at him.

“You and I both know you are not much older than I am, if at all.”

Deadpool smirked at him and walked a couple steps closer.

Billy cocked his head to the side at the expression. _Even with the mask on that face looked familiar._

Deadpool smiled through the fabric.

“Oh? Are you realizing something spandex?”

Billy directed a confused look to the other boy.

“What are y-”

Deadpool laughed.

“Nevermind I guess. You’ll find out soon enough.”

“What? Deadpool you can’t just-”

The vigilante walked to the edge of the building and looked back at the hero. He smirked once again with the oh so familiar face Billy could still not recognize for the life of him.

“I just did.”

And then he was gone, just like that. Billy shook his head with a fond expression looming on his face. _That boy is such a character._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Billy entered his room silently through the window. His room was dark as he looked at his digital alarm clock, the only light shining in the space.

 

_2:34 am_

 

He approached his lamp and flicked on the lights. He started stripping the suit off and placed it underneath his bed.

He plopped down on his mattress with his face directed upwards. He sighed as he thought of the insanely strange day he had.

He thought of Freddy, who was weird at first but Billy thought he could grow to like. He had cute hair, a nice sense of style, and was charming in his own way. Also he was apparently trying to flirt with him according to Mary, but Billy didn’t believe her. She thinks every single lgbt boy they encounter is trying to flirt with him. Ever since he came out to her she’s been trying to get him a boyfriend. “You’re a junior Billy! You’ve spent almost your entire high school career figuring yourself out and now that the hard part is over don’t waste the other half being single!” she would tell him over and over again.

He sighed. Maybe he could like Freddy, in some distant world where he knew where he knew him from. Billy could swear that boy was familiar in some way, hell Freddy even seemed to know him too. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, _he would figure it out eventually. But right now sleep sounded spectacular._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“A frog’s body uses several different-“

The voice of his biology teacher faded out of his ears and he looked down at the corpse. The frog was laid out in front of him with knives and other various tools surrounding it.

Billy sighed, he hated dissections. He turned to face his partner, the one and only Freddy Freeman. He was wearing a large pink hoodie, white skinny jeans, and black converse. Accompanying his _adorable_ outfit was the goggles required by the school in order to participate in the dissection.

“You look out of it William, you okay?”

Billy shook out of his trance. He nodded at the curly haired boy and directed his glance back to the frog.

His face scrunched up and furrowed his eyebrows at the creature. _Disgusting_.

“Okay class please pick up the knife on the left of the frog’s stomach.”

Billy abided by her instructions and picked up the tool. In taking it, he accidentally shifted the wrong way and cut Freddy’s hand.

“Oh shit— I’m so sorry! I’ll call the teacher. You could get infected, Mrs-“

Freddy put his uninjured hand on his arm and shook his head in a laugh.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine William. Don’t stress yourself out.”

Billy looked at him hesitantly and then back at his hand.

“But-“

“Let’s start then shall we Batson?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“...and then he told me it was fine! I cut his hand with a blade. How the hell could he be fine?!”

Mary shrugged.

“Maybe he has high pain tolerance? Eat your food it’ll get cold.”

Billy sighed and took a bite out of his sandwich. He felt _extremely_ guilty for injuring Freddy, but felt even more so confused. _How was he not upset? How was he not hurt? How was he possibly able to brush it off as a simple inconvenience?_

“Get out of your head William, you might go crazy when you find nothing there.”

Billy heard laughter coming from Pedro and Mary to his right. He turned to Freddy completely ignoring his comment.

“How’s your hand?”

Freddy smirked and tapped him under the table. He laid out his hand flat and revealed the cut completely gone. Billy had to double take at the sight.

“Wha— How.. How did that happen?”

Billy gaped at his hand and Freddy chuckled.

“How are you this stupid Batson?”

Billy grunted. _What was this kid’s deal?_

Freddy smirked again and booped him on the nose with his now healed hand.

Billy stared at the finger as he retreated it. What the?

Freddy laughed again and took a chip from Billy’s open dorito bag.

“You’re so cute.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Billy sat on the ledge of the building in a slump. _I’m cute? And how on earth did his wound just vanish?_

Suddenly he the sensed something and turned to find Deadpool, arms crossed across his chest. He was wearing a smirk, because Billy hasn’t seen that expression enough these past two days.

“Lost in thought?”

Billy sighed as the other masked hero took a seat besides him.

“You could say that. Crime is pretty slow this time of day, nothing much to do.”

Deadpool nodded.

“Maybe you should do your lab report?”

“I would but it takes a really long time and I have to do it with my partn— wait a second. How did you…?”

Deadpool chuckled and rested him hand on Billy’s knee.

“Always so naive aren’t you webhead?”

Billy just stared at the boy beside him and took in his figure. _Kind of skinny and lanky, his mask is bunched at the back so he must have longish hair, not extremely tall maybe a little shorter than me._

“How are you this stupid Batson?”

Billy’s brain short circuited and he stared at Deadpool with wide eyes.

“You… you're— Freddy?!”

“Ding ding ding. You finally used that singular brain cell of yours.”

Billy moved his hand to run through his hair only to find nothing. _Right, he was still in the suit._

He instead shifted his left hand to the other boy’s mask.

“Um...may I?”

Freddy nodded and Billy started to remove the fabric. The curly hair flowed out and underneath revealed Freddy Freeman, smugly smiling at him.

“Peek-a-boo”

Billy chuckled and took his own mask off.

“How did that take me so long?”

Freddy shrugged and scooted closer to him so that their thighs were touching.

They sat in silence for awhile until there was a sudden crash in the alleyway next to them.

Both their heads shot up and they made eye contact. They collectively smirked and grabbed their masks. _This was going to be fun._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they arrived there was a young boy tied up next to a dumpster. There were maybe four or five large men surrounding him with guns.

In the center of the narrow space there was an older man being held at gunpoint by a woman. _They looked similar, maybe they were siblings?_

The man let out a scream and the woman held his neck tighter. She mumbled something in his ear and then motioned the men surrounding the boy. They took the child and stationed him in front of the pair. She ordered them to place him there and then cocked the gun connected to the nameless man’s head.

Freddy moved his head towards Billy and whispered in his ear.

“I have a hunch.”

Billy silently motioned him to continue.

“The man and the woman are siblings,” _Figured_ , “the boy is the man’s son and look there,” He pointed to a briefcase against the opposite wall, _huh, I didn’t notice that_ , “There is something green sticking out of that bag, presumably money, the brother probably owes his psycho sister money.”

Billy looked over the scene again, Freddy’s theory had made sense. He turned to him to acknowledge his logical observation but found him gone.

He darted his head back and forth in the alleyway and spotted him behind the dumpster the young boy was once held against. He saw him raise his gun and cock it. Billy shook his head, _not again_.

He jumped to the side of the parallel building and slowly climbed down the wall to where Freddy was.

He aimed and webbed the muzzle of the gun to prevent it from shooting. He raised his hand that wasn’t in use and made the number five with his palm. He raised his eyebrows at the boy and Freddy visibly slumped at Billy’s disapproval. Freddy pouted and Billy gave him a look. Freddy then huffed and handed the gun over. Billy smiled smugly at his victory and then looked towards the scene of the crime.

Nothing much had changed except for that the boy had started wailing screaming out, “Mom please don’t!”

Freddy turned around and Billy looked at him. From his mannerism, it seemed they were both thinking the same thing. _What?_

“I’m sorry sweetie but he isn’t good for you, he isn’t good for us!”

Billy squinted his eyes at the woman and then moved his gaze to the men behind the boy. They were wearing all black but their faces were visible. They looked all around the same age and he extremely similar facial features. _Maybe this is a family thing?_

Freddy nudged him with his elbow and motioned for him to go up. Billy nodded and started ascending up the wall. He looked back at Freddy and the boy directed his head towards the guards. Billy sent him a thumbs up and then crawled to the closest spot the wall could be to them. He raised his hand and prepared to fire.

Suddenly he heard the fire of a gun and saw a bright flash in the air. He looked at Freddy and saw him wielding another weapon. _Damn it I forgot he had two._

Billy swung towards him, webbed the gun out of his hand, and replaced it with his own phone.

“Call the police, I’ll take care of things right now.”

Freddy sent him the middle finger but retreated to call for help nonetheless.

Billy scanned the area. Suddenly time slowed as he felt a punch coming from behind. He quickly shifted and turned to sock the guy in the face.

“Ooo that’s gotta hurt. Sorry about that buddy.”

He turned to web two other thugs while kicking another. He faced the last three.

“I’m leaving you with a choice here guys. Either retreat and I’ll let you off the hook or we can fight, and you’ll suffer the same fate as your friends.”

He watched the two in the back charge forward and the one in the center pull out a gun.

“Guess you want to play it the hard way then, fine by me.”

He moved to web the now loaded gun out of the middle’s hand but was abruptly stopped when the man was kicked into the side of the left wall.

Deadpool got up from his kicking position and ran towards another thug, hitting him directly in the balls.

“God I feel bad for your wife,” he turned to face Billy as the man fell to the floor, “Thought you could hog all the fun Webhead?”

Billy scoffed and went for the last standing man, but before he knew it he too was smashed into the ground by Freddy.

Billy turned to face him with a glare and he just shrugged.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

The woman spoke up, gun still placed on her brother’s? Husband’s? head.

Billy stepped closer to her.

“Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, nice to meet you.”

He raised his left hand as if he was going to give her a handshake.

Freddy followed his quick whip with a,

“And I’m Deadpool. You might have heard of me? God on the streets and in the sheets? But I mean you wouldn’t know that.... Spandex over here however— Ouch!”

Billy grunted as he removed his hand from his hit on Freddy’s back.

“Stay focused dumbass.”

She laughed at them.

“So what? You expect me to be afraid of you? You’re just two teenage boys that are stepping into a situation that is none of your business.”

Billy scoffed as he heard sirens coming from behind him.

“Oh yeah?” He grappled the gun out of her hands as Freddy cut the young boy free from his retrains.

“Tell that to the police.”

She gaped at them and pulled out another gun.

“You damn brats. You’ll pay for this!”

She aimed the weapon at Freddy and pulled the trigger. Billy watched as the bullet penetrated his friend’s shoulder.

He watched the boy dramatically fall to the ground and the woman smirked. Billy rolled his eyes at the sight and face palmed. _Why was he friends with such an idiot?_

Freddy laid there for a couple more seconds as the woman spoke up.

“See? I told you not to mess with— Aagh!!”

She fell to the floor as a bullet went through her ankle. Freddy got up from his position and cockily spun the gun in his fingers blowing out the air coming from the top.

Billy sighed and Freddy shrugged at him.

“What’s with the face? I didn’t kill her did I Red?”

Billy rolled his eyes and pulled the gun out of his hands.

“Let’s get out of here before the police come.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Billy planted himself down on the seat as he dug into his pasta. The chattering of his friends around him brought a smile to his face. He heard the squeaking of a chair next to him. He turned to find Freddy extremely close to him engaged in a conversation with Eugene about Iron Man.

“I personally think he’s more than just the suit. He’s Tony Stark after all? Don’t you think William?”

Freddy rested his arm around him and looked at him in question. Billy sighed but melted into the touch nonetheless.

“I told you not to call me that Freddy.”

“Answer the question Billy” spoke Eugene from across them.

Freddy nudged him with his side and Billy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah Iron man is cool or whatever. But his suit is what _really_ makes him a superhero.”

Freddy pinched his shoulder with his hand that was around him and pouted at Billy.

He sighed and added, “But Tony Stark himself is a different kind of hero than he is when he’s in the suit I guess”

Freddy beamed at him and looked at Eugene with a smug expression.

“Whipped.” Pedro said under his breath.

Billy glared at him as Mary took a seat next to Eugene. She looked curiously at him and Freddy. She nudged him with her foot under the table and raised her eyebrows.

Billy mouthed, “nothing,” and she shook her head.

She then kicked his shin underneath and he let out a grunt. Billy sighed, “I’m serious it’s nothing Mary”

“What’s nothing?”

Freddy said with a fry in his mouth. Billy slumped, "Nothing.”

Freddy chuckled and went back to his Iron Man debate.

After awhile Freddy then spoke up more towards the table as a whole rather than to just Eugene or small comments to Billy.

“Who do you think is cooler? Spider-Man or Deadpool?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Billy huffed as he felt Freddy’s hair lay on his shoulder. They were sitting on top of his building right after an evening patrol. He didn’t know how one battle got them so close, but he wasn’t complaining.

“I can’t believe they all think Deadpool is cooler!”

Freddy giggled as he burrowed deeper into Billy’s shoulder.

They were still wearing their costumes, but their masks lay discarded on the ground next to them.

Billy rolled his eyes and moved his head to lay on top of Freddy’s. He didn’t know what this new tactile part of their friendship would lead to, but we would not stunt the development because of his curiosity.

“Hey Webhead can you hold this?”

Billy held his hand out for whatever Freddy wanted him to hold while looking at the sky. Suddenly he felt fingers intertwined with his own and Billy laughed.

“You’re so cheesy.”

Freddy squeezed his hand and looked up from his position.

“And you’re not pulling away are you William?”

Billy let go of his hand and playfully shoved his shoulder. Freddy laughed and regained balance. He moved so that his legs were still dangling but his upper body was laying on the ground. Billy watched him and copied the movement.

He looked up at the starless sky and then turned to look at Freddy. The sounds of cars and voices echoed throughout his ears but eventually they faded at the sight. He looked at Freddy but this time, unlike the others, he truly analyzed and studied him. He noticed how there was always one curl that covered his left eyebrow or how he had a dimple on his right cheek whenever he smiled with no teeth. He went back and grabbed Freddy’s hand. He felt and squeeze and he smiled to himself.

Whatever the journey ahead of them was, either fighting partners, romantic partners, friends, etc. It didn’t matter their fate. Billy was determined to keep them together, no matter what the cost.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah... i actually kind of like this
> 
> ill probably write a part two eventually with them in an established relationship bc i kind of left it pretty open. i also really wanted to do the upside spiderman kiss but i couldn't find a place for it without it making their relationship seem too rushed or the oneshot too long. +also sorry about the kind of ooc freddy fhdskfaj (he actually may not even be ooc but he just seems so to me)
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoyed!! don't forget to leave kudos and comments <3
> 
> [ if you want to scream about freebt with me my tumblr is: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/harleyspotatoes ]


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